Woody Allen wrote the screen play
and directed 5 short films for “Everything
You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)”, a film which
was loosely based on a book by Dr. David
Reuben of the same title. This is Woody’s 4th among the 40 plus of
his works which he started filming in the 60’s.
Everything, as the title
suggests, is probably like one of
those films hidden on your brother’s drawer or among your father’s pile of
stuff which you are forbidden to touch or see. But since it was by a luminary auteur
that brought us Annie Hall, Hannah and Her
Sisters, Manhattan, The Purple Rose of Cairo, to name a few, I don’t
see how a movie which screams S-E-X can bear a promise of a letdown.
 |
| "You hear these strange stories, y'know, like these pills these women take or sometimes the guy slam their heads up against a wall of hard rubber. Yeah? Or ... What it's a homosexual encounter?" -- Woody Allen as a sperm |
On Do Aphrodisiacs Work? Woody
stars as a court jester who wanted to tickle
the royal funny bone but ends up as a complete failure. He encounters the
spirit of his dead father who tells him to make out with the queen in order to
grant it eternal rest. He then calls on the sorcerer in order to help him bring
out his act. The sorcerer gives him a potion which he will give to the queen. As
soon as the queen took a sip from the vial, folly ensues. Woody played the
sex-starved court fool quite well. Loaded with witty, dirty and ridiculous dialogues,
this comical Shakespearean skit is only the beginning, a mere scratch on the
surface of buffoonery that Woody Allen has under his sleeves. The second short
film focuses on a man-sheep affair. What is Sodomy? Touches on the story
of a medical doctor who fell in love with Daisy, a four-legged animal brought
to his office after its love-struck owner begs him to talk some sense into her (the
sheep) to win her back. This is a piteous beastial love story but amusing in an
odd kind of way. The third short film was just as bizarre. Why Do Some Women Have Trouble
Reaching an Orgasm? is about a couple who just wants to make out in
public. My eyes were ruby red, however, from reading the English subtitles
since this was in Italian. Are Transvestites Homosexuals? was,
however, the part I enjoyed most. I thought I was about to hit the apex of boredom
from the previous sequel when this bit about a middle-aged man with a fondness
of donning up a woman’s wardrobe (transvestite) poked at my funny bone and made
me let out a laugh that made my throat hurt. What Are Sex Perverts? was
in the style of a game show that focuses over the question “What’s My Perversion?” it is set in black
and white which was just so silly and profane that I had to press the forward
button. Are The Findings of Doctors And Clinics Who Do Sexual Research And
Experiments Accurate? features a Giant Tit created by a deranged
scientist which was set loose to ravage the countryside. This got me saying
WTF?! Like, really, what the fuck? In the end, the colossal boob was taken down
through a trap in the shape of a gigantic bra before it “nursed” the entire
countryside down. The last sequel What Happens During Ejaculation? is
a sci-fi take on how a guy’s brain functions during a date and coitus. Men in
white uniforms are actively and attentively engaged on sending signals to other
“centers” (for other organs) while a passionate love making takes place. Woody Allen
stars as a sperm who is too reluctant to take the big jump despite his sworn oath
to “fertilize an ovum or die trying”.
 |
| The doctor and his Daisy |
This may not be the best Woody
Allen movie there is but as with his other films, there is something to like
and love about it, I personally liked it for its shock value. Although this
wasn’t as overwhelming as his later works, he always makes movies that are entertaining,
wrought with clever dialogues and interesting characters.
No comments:
Post a Comment